Lamar Cox

Obituary For Lamar Cox

Lamar Cox embodied the spirit of “hail fellow well met.” His warm smile, welcoming spirit, and kind acceptance of others endeared him to just about everyone. Lamar’s gregarious nature enabled him to bring positive leadership to his large family, community and professional life. Though no one worked harder or shouldered responsibility more routinely, Lamar never lost his ability to share his grace and joy with others. On Wednesday, March 23, 2022, Lamar Cox, dear husband, father, brother, uncle, cousin, colleague, friend, and neighbor, entered into his eternal rest at the age of 88 (following complications related to a kidney transplant). His departure will be felt by the many lives he touched.

Born in Buford, Georgia, Lamar was the oldest of Daniel and Bessie Ola Mae Cox’s seven children. Given his and his siblings’ arrival at a time and place that offered many challenges for Black people, his parents had the courage and foresight to migrate North to provide better options for their growing family.

Lamar grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio attending its public schools, and excelling in academics, track and field, and gymnastics. He graduated with honors from Woodward Senior High School and continued his education at the University of Cincinnati (UC), where he was the first Black student to earn a degree in electrical engineering. He was also the first Black recipient of the University of Cincinnati Distinguished Alumnus Award.

Soon after graduating from UC, Lamar married Frieda Wright and they moved to Long Island, New York. It was on Long Island that his first two children, Angela Joan and Lamar Byron were born. While starting his family, Lamar also began his professional career at Hazeltine Laboratories and Sperry Gyroscope, serving as one of their first Black engineers and experiencing all of the challenges associated with being a “first.” He earned a Master of Science degree in applied mathematics from Adelphi University while working full-time. Based on his leadership in numerous well-known social justice activities in his community, Lamar was invited to become the first Black trustee in the history of Hofstra University, where he served from March 1970 to 1976. He was also the youngest trustee in Hofstra’s history.

The spirit of doing right and giving back was at the core of Lamar’s values and it was reflected in his social activism. Lamar’s passion to make change was ignited by witnessing the inequities in housing options for Black people on Long Island. He founded the Long Island Council for Integrated Housing and later became the Chairman of the Long Island Congress of Racial Equality (CORE) and the Alliance of Minority Group Leaders. His efforts to promote social justice and equality expanded social, educational, and economic opportunities for people of color. In 1975, Lamar married Sandra Hargraves DeFreitas at their home on Long Island. Lamar quickly became “Dad” to Sandra’s two sons and “Uncle Lamar” to their close friends. In 1977, Veronica Lynn was born, completing the blended family, which also included Angela, Lamar Byron, and stepsons Louis Allen DeFreitas and Victor Burwell DeFreitas. The family moved to Washington DC in 1978, allowing them to build many new friendships and professional relationships.

After a long and successful career as a radar specialist, Lamar retired and moved on to establish American Security and Communications (ASC), which provided residential and commercial alarm systems and monitoring. He also co-created and collaborated on two business ventures with his wife Sandra: Gift Gallery, and American Presentations. As an entrepreneur, Lamar was always exploring new and innovative ideas. He never stopped thinking of ways to improve or create products to make life better. His continuous focus on innovation led him to secure several patents for his inventions.

Lamar’s gifts were not limited to his professional pursuits. From an early age, he loved music and it was part of his daily life. He had a beautiful tenor voice and sang in groups and as a soloist. He was also a whistler beyond compare. The melodies followed him as if they knew he was theirs, and they were his. When he wasn’t using his voice to make music, he lent it to thoughtful commentary, critique, and hilarious jokes. His favorite topics of conversation were politics, history, society, movies, football and automobiles. He was the family historian, travel enthusiast, and expert gardener. His love of gardening dovetailed with his concerns about conservation, and he tended to his garden with an eye toward gentle stewardship of the planet. Anyone who lived around Lamar envied his lush and beautiful lawn which was his pride and joy. Many neighbors tried to reach his standards, but few succeeded.

In remembering Lamar, we can look back at a life lived to the fullest and on his terms. His life was founded on strong relationships with friends, family, neighbors, and professional colleagues. And, he could laugh! He was able to find humor even in difficult situations. It was his sense of humor that helped him and all who knew and loved him, to cope and to hope through his struggle with renal disease. Lamar received a long-awaited kidney transplant on January 19, 2022, and while he and his family hoped that this would be the end of his struggles, he was called home to be with the Lord.

He was preceded in death by his parents Daniel and Bessie Cox, his brother Bobby, and his son Victor. His legacy will continue to be an inspiration to all those he loved and those who loved him: his wife Sandra; children Angela Joan (husband Rick), Lamar Byron, Louis Allen, and Veronica Lynn; grandchildren Victor, Daniel Alexander, Michael Douglas, and Gabriela; siblings, Margaret, Stanley, Larry, Danny and Philip; and his many nieces, nephews, and cousins whose lives he touched.